Crystal Ball Reading Gifts

'We'll start with the minutes of next year's AGM.'

"This is very mysterious. I can't seem to pick up anything at all about you, but I see 'Ivan the Terrible' coming to the Thalia."

Quantum Psychic

'Hold out - They're going to make a better offer.'

"You're in luck! The virus is going to wipe out everybody except you and Donald Trump."

"My crystal ball's algorithms say your computer's algorithms are off."

'I see a change in matters of the heart, liver, kidneys. . .'

'Apparently her main experience is in futures.'

'I see a tender, dark bruise coming your way...' (Balm readers)

'... But, in the end that diet will fail, too.'

'You will be stuck in this crummy job for another 15 years.'

"I see many military victories, a heroic death and a grateful nation that will erect in your honor a statue that will be dirtied by pigeons every day, once and again."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

Govt. UK led by Seance

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'