Crystal Ball Reader Gifts

"It says 'made in Hong Kong'"

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Quantum Psychic

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

Windows or Mac?

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

Ill next Thursday

Govt. UK led by Seance

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Nostradamus.

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

Paranormal Fair: 'Closed due to unforeseen circumstances'

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

'Hold it right there, pal! I had a vision that your check is going to bounce, so you can just head right back to your car!'