Crystal Ball Curious Gifts

'I can't see your future, but luckily I'm very good with vague generalities and meaningless half truths.'

'I see a body of water...with soap.'

"Hi everyone, thanks for channeling in to help me with my ancestry project."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Quantum Psychic

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

Ill next Thursday

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Nostradamus.

Crystal Ball Plug

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

Hog Futures

Psychic car mechanics.

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."