Crystal Ball Connoisseur Gifts

'And now over to Mrs Miggins for our financial forecasts...'

'And this is our research department...'

"In the future, everyone will have privacy for fifteen minutes."

Big Medium

Windows or Mac?

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'Your wife says she's been watching you, and there are a lot of things you need to work on.'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

'Thanks for having us and I'm really sorry about the cheeseball. Honestly, I didn't realise I was meant to share it.'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

Ill next Thursday

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Nostradamus.

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

Hog Futures