Crystal Ball Connoisseur T-Shirts

'And now over to Mrs Miggins for our financial forecasts...'

'And this is our research department...'

"In the future, everyone will have privacy for fifteen minutes."

Big Medium

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'Your wife says she's been watching you, and there are a lot of things you need to work on.'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

Ill next Thursday

'Thanks for having us and I'm really sorry about the cheeseball. Honestly, I didn't realise I was meant to share it.'

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Nostradamus.

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

Hog Futures

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'