Crystal Ball Admirer T-Shirts

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

Fortune teller: 'If you want a second opinion, my sister reads tarot cards.'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Swan Lake's Odette and Siegfried

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"In two million years from now people like me will still be very rich tanks to idiots like you!"

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Ill next Thursday

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Nostradamus.

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

'You will be reincarnated as someone who undergoes past life regression.'

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

Psychic car mechanics.

Hog Futures

'I only make predictions in retrospect.'