Cryogenic Comic Relief Gifts

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

You Are Here

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

The First Printed Bible

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

The earlier, less publicized discovery of gravity by Corblatt.

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

"I don't know, what do you want to do today?"

'You've come a long way with your anger this year. In fact, I feel that you are ready to meet a special friend of mine...'

Tourist in the desert

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

Break Glass in Case of Stress

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

'We want you to start working from home. And not for us.'

"You got this, Nana."

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

Exposed and imprisoned.

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'