Comic Relief Scientists Gifts

The earlier, less publicized discovery of gravity by Corblatt.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

The First Printed Bible

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

Break Glass in Case of Stress

Tourist in the desert

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

'I can't say I like your cavalier attitude Benson.'

"We pay the living dead wage."

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

"You've got pussyfooting from 10 to 11, shilly-shallying until 12, then hemming and hawing the rest of the afternoon."

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'

Calm down...this is for your own good.

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'