Crybaby Sympathizer Pillows

Those are alligator tears, Al. What's the difference between crocodile tears and alligator tears? Crocodile tears are insincere. Alligator tears are sincere, but alligators are whining crybabies.

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

celebrating a birth.

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

"He looks just like your husband."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"Wings will be cool, I guess, but I'm mostly hoping the braces and pimples fall off."

'They're just adorable at this age - before they develop a personality.'

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

'It's a chicken.'

Maternity ward: 'Oh boy - stereo!'

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

"Ouch. . . Aaaargh!!. . . Stop it!. . . "

Family.

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

"Excuse me. Anyone sitting there?"

'Go forth and multiply!'

'He looks a bit like both of you.'

"Oh, she's got her father's male hormones"

Be A Doctor

Twins

"You have the right to remain silent, anytime you cry can be used against you...."

Baby delivery

'I hate chick flicks!' 'Sniff...me too...'

Covid Babies

"Early Father's Day Gift!"

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

"Short straw gets the ribbon and the diaper!"

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'No teeth, no hair, drooling all the time -- maybe there is something to evolution.'

'Anorexia definitely isn't in this girl's vocabulary.'