Crutch Collector T-Shirts

Three legged crutch for a three legged man

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Utility Chic.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"So unfortunately, I have to make some more cuts."

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

A Fork-lift.

'We thought you'd like music during your building inspection.'

The Black Hole the National Observatory just discovered, where temporarily misplaced tools and parts go.

"I guess I always wanted to be an electrician. As a little boy, I ran away to join the circuits."

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2

The evolution of a woman's purse.

"For only five dollars more, the guy let me have the 'Smart Hammer.'"

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."