Crush Whisperer Gifts

"Wouldn't it be cool if guys could read girls' minds?"

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"They’re real."

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

Pull the udder one

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

'That cloud doesn't look like a horse to me, but if I import it into Photoshop...'

We come in pieces!

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

'Mama! Aliens.'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

Relationship Issues.

'He's never there for me.'

"Thanks for this. But if you miss us, you can just purr."

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

'Things just haven't been the same around here since people starting saving files in the cloud.'

'There's a teddy and a pony... and that one looks like medulla oblongata!'

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

Cat Burglar.

"Living brings up a lot of issues for him."

Farmer Pickles hated it when the cows hummed Darth Vader's theme tune.

'Your barn door's open.'