Cruelty-free Comedians Pillows

"Remember what happens in vegans stays in vegans."

Occu-Pie Mars

They're Not Just That Into It

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

"I'm sorry, but Fred isn't available. He's spending a few days in the penalty box for not being a good team player. May I help you?"

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Woody Allen

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

'I don't want just a bunch of 'yes' men around here! Hire a couple of women!'

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

An early turning-point in old Hollywood...

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

"You're hired! We need someone like you to encourage humor in the workplace."

"When I agreed to working closely with you on this project..."

Leftie Trump

Getting employees involved in decision making can help give them a sense of ownership. Sometimes, a little too much.

Research indicates seven deadly sins are treatable with drugs,

Memory Foam Mattress.

'Well, my company can offer the best prices because we've got the lowest personnel expenses!'

igloo smoking zone...

"I don't even know when late night begins anymore."

Snake pulls prank posing for photo

'Today stocks acting 'funny peculiar' outnumbered 'funny ha-ha' stocks by a 2-1 margin.'

Man on desert island under expired parking meter, meter maid in boat approaches.

'Is it just me or is a good man really that hard to find?'