Polite Comedian Pillows

Policeman and cab tout,

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Vacuums!'

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

"...They must be poor catchers, there's two men behind the plate."

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

Ferguson, Bramley, Osgood & Holt - Big Frogs in a Small Pond.

"He can't tell his left from his right."

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

"Russia is run by rich oligarchs. America is run by rich insurance companies."

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

"Well, it looks like it's just me left to get toasted. Have a great day!"

"I don't care if all your friends like that. You go back and put on some more insulation, young lady!"

"Dude, don't say it..."

The Slumber Party.

Gary Johnson

Now THAT was a speech with something for everybody!

'Don't make me use my chemical weapons...'

"You know I don't like to cuddle."

'My backhanded compliments to the chef.'

Light Switch

'It was the menu in this pub that drove me to drink...'