Light-hearted Comedian Pillows

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'Your place or mine?'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'She'll never look for me here.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Infinity Tavern

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Siegfried and Roy - grand re-opening.

Shoe repair

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Vacuums!'

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"I've got a very responsible job. If anything goes wrong, I'm responsible."

Visual gag (the real Mona Lisa behind the scenes).

"Is the light bothering you?"

Man with t-shirt 'I *spade* my dog'.

'Hello? Animal control?'

"Sir, you said that it's high time to fix the problem, so I rearranged the furniture, watered the flowers and made fresh coffee. If that wasn't enough then maybe we should find some problems that fit our solutions."

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

Giving thanks.

'Hey Larry! Jim here! Haven't seen you since way last Christmas! How the heck are ya, dude?'