Light-hearted Comedian T-Shirts

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Daffodil bulbs

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Shoe repair

Siegfried and Roy - grand re-opening.

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

'Something needs to be done about the surgery room lights.'

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Vacuums!'

Visual gag (the real Mona Lisa behind the scenes).

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

"I've got a very responsible job. If anything goes wrong, I'm responsible."

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"Is the light bothering you?"

'Hello? Animal control?'

Man with t-shirt 'I *spade* my dog'.

"Sir, you said that it's high time to fix the problem, so I rearranged the furniture, watered the flowers and made fresh coffee. If that wasn't enough then maybe we should find some problems that fit our solutions."

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

Giving thanks.

"Doctor I think I'm a moth..."