Cross-stitching Gifts

Ted discovers that the Devil he knows is as full of surprises as the Devil he doesn't know.

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

Quilt fanatic

"There's nothing like a dame!"

Patient after an appendix operation

'Maybe we could put our knitting down until the examination is over.'

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

Colay's glass bottom boat tours!

Sewing Machines in Surgery

Superhero flying off in women's underwear

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

'OK. Sometimes, after games, when I'm all alone? I... I like to dress up in a NBA uniform.'

'So you can get dressed faster than me. So what?'

A woman knits from a globe.

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"....And Mother Yancy will be assisting the reattachment team this morning..."

Psychiatrist knitting

"Don't laugh – it got my uncle out of the Army."

'Isn't it funny how the older we get, the more we become like our mothers?'

Maid with her sewing basket

You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes....

"Son, once your grandma wore these shoes. I wore them after her, and now I will give them to you because I think they fit your dresses perfectly."

'It's just a precaution, there were lots of fiddley bits left over at the end of the operation.'

"Here comes Panty Claus! Here comes Panty Claus..."

Ralf liked to practice random acts of exhibitionism.

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

'They're not for me, they're for my wife.'

You can ask for a thread there!

How's the sweater coming along?

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

Annual sportknitting Derby

'How long have you been unemployed? I have never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

'Blackpool set to become Las Vegas of England.'

A Doctor sewing up a Patient's incision with a sewing machine.