Cross-country Romancer T-Shirts

I'm finally done celebrating the State of the Union address. What are you talking about? House of Java.net CyberCafe. Every year after the speech, I drive cross-country and date ladies from every region, and of every race, creed and color. It's my way of spending time with like-minded patriots to celebrate how we're all more similar than we are different. Whether you're in California, the deep south or far-off Hawaii, you're never more than a 2-hour drive from miniature golf. Think about that.

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Run from the hills!

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'Your dad wouldn't let you borrow the car tonight?'

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

'Of all the people I know, I like running with you the best Angela.'

Route 666.

"We've been from sea to shining sea! Why don't you admit you're lost!"

"I'm finally done celebrating the recent election."

'It's almost time to get the cross-country skis out and dust them off.'

Proposal on a snowboard

Double Bike

Literary Type

"It has a nice soft shoulder. You said you needed one to cry on, didn't you?"

'It had been one of those long, smouldering, passionate kisses that seem to last forever'

'Barely an love and already arguing.'

One of the hazards of outdoor weddings.

'We've come a long way together. You've given me direction...You're so patient when I make mistakes...You've got such a soft, sexy voice, too...You're the best SatNav I've ever had...'

"So how's married life?"

"Uh...shall I take...your bikes?"

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

"I see you're on a date at the moment but perhaps later we could meet for a latte."

Priest: '...For richer or poorer,in sickness and in health...' Bride: 'Wait a minute! I need to consult my astrologer on this!'

'Thirty,love...My lovey!'

"I'm what they call a rural sexual."

"Parry Me!"

'Oh, oh! Doc left his twitch again!'

'A little bit naughty is ok.'

'I've just travelled half-way across the country and you tell me he's escaped?'

'Our genes suit fine, but astrologically Bob and I don't match at all.'

'They carry a big responsibility - if this one wins, I get married.'