Critter_keeper Pillows

'Maybe I shouldn't have brought the termites,'

Billy would watch his ant farm for hours on end.

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

'What a lot of fuss, fancy being afraid of an 'itsy-bitsy' little mouse like this!'

My Bowl Is Empty.

Woman welcomes back her cat but not its new kittens.

Vodka

"Don't be such a baby. You're officially an endangered species, so I'm going to have to earmark you."

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

"Relax - it's just for a few days until they find a place of their own."

EARTH DAY. Whatever.

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

"Eggs, eggs, eggs...that Delia Smith's ruining my life."

'There's a bee here from the Food and Drug Administration who wants to inspect the hive.'

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

Zen Kitten

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

She envied her sometimes - all footloose and feline-free.

'Well, you have people pox.'

Worm Appreciation Society!

'You're right, I am not a native: My ancestors came to this country with the Conquistadors...'

'I think it's time we told kitty she was adopted.'

Cat coming out of a maternity ward.

I tried thinking outside the box once. That was a big mistake!

'Come on children, last one out's a rotten egg.'

'You're needed at the can opener.'