Criminal Mastermind Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

'Make it look like an accident.'

Gangster's To-Do List

Ignorance of the Law

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

Gullboy and Pigeonman

Exposed and imprisoned.

A convict escaping during the press scrum

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

Change of crime for a bored criminal

"They're gaining on us - start throwing the doughnuts."

"Little Timmy is big enough to use you burglary tools."

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

"I'm going out for beef chow mein - want anything?"

You know retail is in a bad way when...

'Brilliant writing, Mr. Fenswick, but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on your 'How to Commit the Perfect Crime'!'