Criminal Mastermind Fan T-Shirts

"Idiot! Who leaves a tip?!"

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'I hate frisking magicians!'

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

Miami Mice

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

Bribery and Corruption.

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

Cat points to the dog who injured him, at a police station.

'There's my place. Technically it's still a crime scene, but you're more than welcome to traipse through it.'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Police lineup

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

Back in 2 to 5 years.

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'

Bottle Opener Sticks 'Em Up For Armed Robber In Liquor Store

"Did you hear - we're being transferred from bomb-sniffing to trans fats."

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

Eager to pull a prank on his chiropractor, Dennis taped a bag of potato chips to the small of his back.

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'

We really have to stop letting him watch the news.

Change of crime for a bored criminal

"Don't ask where it comes from. Just be glad I can provide."

I didn't see who attacked me, but that's the guy who got it all on his phone.