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'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

"It's too good. I think it's going to be a forgery, not just a copy."

'Jennifer! My identity has been stolen!'

'Observe, my dear Watson - it's The Case of the Missing Horse!'

'Ah, the old good cop, bad cop routine, eh!'

'20 years for insurance fraud?' - 'Well you added a nought to your claim, so the judge added a nought to your sentence.'

'I didn't see the man who mugged me, although he did wear $250 UV filtered aviator glasses by LeWit of Paris.'

"Run for it, sir—the cops!"

'I agree it's a great place to hide from the police after the robbery, but boy am I bored!'

Chicken Crime Scene.

Big car with machine gun poking through window, bumper sticker reads: Yardie on board.

Chalk outline getting up behind a police officer.

"Get that kid out of here."

'The butler's friend did it.'

"OK, first you'll have to sign the waiver absolving us of all responsibility and acknowledging that you understand the inherent risks of this transaction."

A dumb of detectives

'You are going on a very risky journey.'

Mondays.

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"I just hope I'm not in trouble."

Bowling Pin: 'There, THAT'S him!! Number 4! That's the CRAZY Psycho!'

"After eliminating all suspects...the murderer can only one person."

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

Stop looking guilty! You haven't done anything! Just act normal!

'We've got a list of suspects in that Abel homicide.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Puss in cement boots"

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces