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'Financial planning requires long-term thinking. Especially if you get caught.'

"Crap, go check his pockets, will ya? I just remembered that he was our designated driver."

Track'em Whack'em

'It must be an Interpol raid....!'

"Imagine what we could accomplish if nobody cared who got the credit... cards."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

Mobsters at the Beach

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

Taking to the sky...

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"You just said, ‘And then I killed my first and second husbands.’ ... Let's explore that."

'You can't arrest me -- I gave my power of attorney to another guy!'

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

"We have ways of making you talk."

"I'll have the roasted chicken. Make it look like an accident."

"I've come about the guitar lessons..."

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

"Well, I thought of it as an innovative economic stimulus package, but the jury insisted on calling it securities fraud!"

'Luigi wants to know if you have considered consolidating all your existing debts into one manageable monthly payment?'

'In a surprise move today, the DEA arrested the CIA.'

RSPCA Murder squad

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"

Mob Shrink

Hannibal Becomes More Conciliatory.

"OK, how about 'proactively striving for excellence in da rackets game?"

"I don't need to write it down, boss, I'm wearing a wire."

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

Laurel and Hardy police protection - "And don't worry about informing on the mob. I've arranged that two of my men give you 24 hour proctection."

Police arresting woman. Man slumped lifeless in background - 'But he was snoring officer!'

"I'm sorry, sir - The person who handles your account ran off to Rio de Janeiro."

'Observe, my dear Watson - it's The Case of the Missing Horse!'