Crime Story Appreciator Gifts

"I've moved into corporate theft."

"Of course, I want your keys, too, Papi. How the hell else am I supposed to get back to Old Saybrook?"

King Neptune getting smashed on the head by a Mafia victim with concrete shoes.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

hard-boiled egg...

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'You know too much,'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Cat Burglar

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

Mou...Man trap!

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

The evidence destroyed

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

'Why is it always about me?'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."