Crime-solving Foodie Gifts

"Man, I just HATE these police grillings!"

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Try to guess the continent dining...

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

GM Crops Genie.

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Turkey Autopsy

Horse meat scandal.

CSI Fridays

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

"Dumb ass, huh! Well there's more than one way to grill a thick sausage."

"Whoever did this was chillingly methodical about it."

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

The History of Anti-stick

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink