Crime Prevention Specialist Pillows

'Ah, ransom note versus ransom phone call...there are bad people who disagree on this issue.'

Knife Police.

America, are we learning anything?

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

Violent Crime Statistics

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'Well, now we know -- blaming the victim DOESN'T work.'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

'Your father installed a security system.'

'Oh no! They've been pinched.'

The Ferguson Effect

You know retail is in a bad way when...

Police Dept. K-9 Unit. Just once I'd like to go undercover as a bad dog.

"We're from Neighborhood Watch. We'd like to see some I.D."

A Gun Proposes to Violence.

New York City, the Bronx, and another successful Vice Squad raid comes to wraps (real vices used for arresting criminals).

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

'Looks like the work of the infamous international frequent flyer burglar - Better dust for carbon finger prints!'

"Isn't it nice to see more bobbies on the street...?"

'Ugh. Every single day.'

You think you're good, eh? Okay, you've got the lost and found windo at the Kleptomaniac's Convention.

"...This one comes with the latest security devices...'

Neighborhood Watch.