Crime Noir Fan Gifts

'A contract killer.'

"This is a holdup - you got a problem with that?"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Crime in bookshop

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

"Oh come on! How can you possibly know that it's Yorick without a proper forensic reconstruction?"

"I couldn't finish that book either."

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

Stand and Deliver

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

A spy

Robert Mitchum

'Have you got any good 'whodunnits'...?'

Diary of a DNA Cop

"Why are you always picking people who have pixellated heads?"

Arrest of La Tuta

"We the jury find that the murder was committed by Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the candlestick!"

Uneasy Rider

Al Pacino

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

Phantom of Casablanca

"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."