Crime Noir Gifts

"Use a hockey stick – make it look like a game."

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

hard-boiled egg...

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"Puss in cement boots"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

The Philip Marlow family

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

The evidence destroyed

Mobsters at the Beach

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'