Film Noir Buff Gifts

The Gangster

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Benedict Cumberbatch

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Herman Mankiewicz

hard-boiled egg...

No-Work Orange

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Cut!

Stand-up Romcom

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'There's nothing on.'

Candid Camera store.

The star hunters

Reese Witherspoon

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

Time Machine Collision

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"Say hello to my little friend."

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

'It was great. I hated it.'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo.

Buster Keaton

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.