Film Noir Fanatic Gifts

Jim and Betty Noir could turn a simple trip to the post office into gripping melodrama.

"If you've already sent payment, please disregard this notice."

Marlene Dietrich

On hold, Rick listens to "As Time Goes By" over and over again.

Noir kitty.

"O.K., how about this: instead of assassinating her straight out, we subject her to steam heat all winter, so her skin gets really dry and she's prone to nosebleeds and her eyes itch and she's just a little bit uncomfortable at all times for months on end?"

"Too film noir?"

gangster concrete rolling

Robert Mitchum

"We want you to have fun too."

'Frankly, it's not the bada-bing that worries me - it's the bada-boom.'

A holster of heavies

'... I didn't know 'Big Louie' was involved!'

hard-boiled egg...

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

The Philip Marlow family

"We need rain."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

Gangster's To-Do List

Robert Mitchum

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

Peter Lorre caricature

Phantom of Casablanca

Uneasy Rider

Diary of a DNA Cop

Al Pacino

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'That isn't true Mrs. Jones, I can find my ass with both hands. And if you want me to prove it, it'll be $150.00 a day, plus expenses.'

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

"Someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the street. But today, expect occasional sprinkles."