Crime Genre Aficionados Gifts

Another victim of disorganised crime

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Puss in cement boots"

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

'Emotional blackmail.'

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

Truman Capote

"We've read your crime-thriller novel and have decided to publish it. As a coloring book."

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

"Next time you rob a bank, don't stick around to take a bunch of selfies with the money."

"With all due respect, instead of the phrase 'bank robbery,' we request the alleged incident be referred to as an 'Elmore Leonard moment!'"

'I have been searching my soul to find the real reason why I ended up here and one answer in particular keeps turning up.'

"OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!"

Laurel and Hardy police protection - "And don't worry about informing on the mob. I've arranged that two of my men give you 24 hour proctection."

The Old Good Cop/Bad Cop Routine.

"Well, as an ichthyologist I have to correct you. Fish don't sleep per-se. . ."

Track'em Whack'em

R. H. Gross - Criminal Law

'Bad dog!'

"He promised to get a job when he get parole - so he's seeing how to get into the church."

"Gracious me, Fat Tony doesn't whack people any more, you're merely being unfriended."

The car alarm snooze button.

"Thank heaven no, in this neighbourhood we only have major crime."

"I think we need to send a little 'message'. Luigi - it's time for the human head in the stable."

Police using chalk outline of body for hopscotch.

Vultures breaking into the county morgue.

"You're a grown man now, Vincent. Quit bringing me your money to launder."

"Bad luck definitely comes in threes...first my ex gets hit by a bus...then I lose my job as a bus driver...and now this!"

"I thought we agreed I was the bad cop this week."

Agatha Christie's Greenway Now Open.

Just look at the files --- and you call this organized crime!