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'During the fraud investigation, I'll be staying beneath everyone's radar screen, Ms Milmous.'

Forensics says it wasn't the pease porridge hot or the pease porridge cold. It was the pease porridge in the pot that killed her. Apparently it was nine days old...

Gangster at Confessional

'How about just a 'power nap' with the fishes Don Corleone?'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

Man by 'You are here' sign realises that he's in a bad neighbourhood.

"It's like 'Family Circus' meets 'The Wire,' but on a cruise ship."

Newton's Law and Order.

Eddie (The Sandman) Fasolino

"I'm Vinnie. I hear you got a little problem you want taken care of?"

"Whose money is it anyway..?"

Goldfish Mafia

"Poirot follows at 9.00, with strong language, violence, and scenes of a sexual nature from the outset."

'The three wise men guest star on Miami Vice'

'At this stage I can confirm that at least one person is helping police with their enquiries.'

'It's the best investment I ever made - a 'random alibi generator.''

'It doesn't make any difference! Tranquilizing all the other horses would be as illegal as doping up this one.'

'Says he is from somewhere called Nottingham!'

"Different strokes for different folks, O'Malley. Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes."

'Can you see the man who assaulted you in the supermarket?'

Wordilly Durdillies - A fashion victim.

Deep Seas Cruises: 'Youse gotta cruise leavin' taday?'

There was only one season of Mafia Squares.

'I'm leaving it there as an homage to my attorney.'

'Welcome to our town strangers. Our bank vault is full but won't lock and we ran out of bullets.'

My son is a made man in the primero crime family,

"Don't think of me as a crime boss. Think of me as a crime friend."

'Fifteen years is not always fifteen years. You're in for a maximum 15, I'm in for a minimum fifteen.'

"I don't want to retire. I want to spend more time with the family."

"You keep changing your story, flower, so I'm gonna ask you one last time."

"Involuntary manslaughter. How about you?"

"Okay, folks, you win!"

"Ok, tough guy, let's see if you can take the unbearable tickle of your runny nose with the facial tissues just out of reach."

Generally, only the perp does that, Jerry.

"Law & Order: Museum Guards."