Cricket Whisperer Gifts

"Have you thought about early retirement?"

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

Mantis Love

Where Deviled Eggs come from

'Superstock'

"It's a destination wedding invitation. We have to cross the road."

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

"No, that was my twin brother. I was too chicken to cross the road."

'In this league, guys, it's all about winning. And we're like, what, 0 and 10? That's why coach got the ax.'

"One word from you when the wife gets home and you're next Sunday's roast!"

Scientists have found proof that the mighty T-rex is related to the humble chicken.

"Sherlock Combs there said he believes it's an inside job."

'Slow down,' I said... 'Watch that bump,' I said... Not only did we lose two of the kds, but who knows what kinda damage that's gonna do to the paint!

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

'I'll take back 'Rotten Egg' if you'll apologize for 'Dumb Cluck'.'

"My God, you're right ... it all makes sense. I crossed the road because of my parents!"

Professor...what are you doing?

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"Stop son, council regulations state that we're not allowed to crow in urban areas..."

Egg!

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Cleaning the Horse

Large Very Fresh Eggs

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

College for flys

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'