Cricket Captain In Training Pillows

Football Fans

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

Dolphin tricks.

My First Boat

PE teacher teaching football tactics. Boy sat in corner with dunce cap.

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'I see the SAGA talent scouts are here.'

"Goal!"

'Daddy! Your hammer doesn't work good!'

'Stop it! Stop it, you two! If you keep fighting about it, then neither one of you will get to be 'coach's bench buddy'...'

"The boring bit about cricket is waiting for them to find the ball after you've hit a six."

Easy shaving

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

"Gentlemen... I have the answer!"

Dog House Building Kit

'It's a flight simulator for passengers.'

"Mommie!"

'Myopic amputee school girls 2nd XI v's England' Damn it, when are we going to get some decent opposition?

"Trust me, you would make a great soccer player if only you could control your urge to bite the ball..."

"He has a hundred runs against his name. That's his bowling of course."

'We're giving all the players cigarette lighters. . . Because you lose so many matches.'

Boy asking his Grandpa to straighten his hat as the school cricket team captain passes.

The neames of hardware items are often hard to remember...'I'm looking for a box of metallic pins about 1 inch long and with a pointed tip with a sort of circular surface?' 'Nails! Aisle 2B'

'Remember - no short deliveries.'

"He's my personal trainer."

Small boy: 'Now then! All together!'

"Good grief Betty, that's just the sort of pace the Test Selectors are looking for."

"I was thinking of bowling a bouncer but it may infringe his human rights!"