Cricket Captain In Training Gifts

Jimmy Anderson

Football Fans

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

Dolphin tricks.

My First Boat

PE teacher teaching football tactics. Boy sat in corner with dunce cap.

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'I see the SAGA talent scouts are here.'

"Goal!"

'Daddy! Your hammer doesn't work good!'

'Stop it! Stop it, you two! If you keep fighting about it, then neither one of you will get to be 'coach's bench buddy'...'

Easy shaving

"The boring bit about cricket is waiting for them to find the ball after you've hit a six."

'I don't mind a medical but I think that's a bit much!

Dog House Building Kit

'It's a flight simulator for passengers.'

"Gentlemen... I have the answer!"

"Mommie!"

'Myopic amputee school girls 2nd XI v's England' Damn it, when are we going to get some decent opposition?

"He has a hundred runs against his name. That's his bowling of course."

'We're giving all the players cigarette lighters. . . Because you lose so many matches.'

Boy asking his Grandpa to straighten his hat as the school cricket team captain passes.

"Trust me, you would make a great soccer player if only you could control your urge to bite the ball..."

The neames of hardware items are often hard to remember...'I'm looking for a box of metallic pins about 1 inch long and with a pointed tip with a sort of circular surface?' 'Nails! Aisle 2B'

'Remember - no short deliveries.'

"He's my personal trainer."

Small boy: 'Now then! All together!'

"I was thinking of bowling a bouncer but it may infringe his human rights!"