Credit Strategist Pillows

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

'Are we broke yet?'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"I just..."

'The recession is over, again.'

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

U.S. Credit Rating

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'The market shifted on me.'

"Let's use the dog's prescription. His refills are cheaper."