Debt Crisis Strategist Pillows

'He had lots of visitors today. Mostly people he owes money to.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

You can breed these if the environment is right.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Out.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Overdraft limit.

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

The euro currency is a bomb.

"Until we know more about the nature of the threat, we should stay calm and wash out hands to keep it from spreading."

"And another thing, Beckton, I don't recall ever saying, 'Correct me if I'm wrong.' "

Meanwhile, at the E.C.B. ...

Economic Changes Cuba.

President Obama: 'You're saying, we go back to a cash only economy, and if that doesn't work, the barter system!'

"You'll always have AAA status to me!"

House of Cards - Europe.

"You owe us more than your house is worth. One of our depositors will be moving in with you to help even things out."

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

The Usual Suspects

Euro-Meltdown

Crisis Negotiator on Vacation

What can I say - Global warming enriches my life!

Bank manager with no business has tumbleweed blowing into office.

Disaster relief - the experts arrive.

'I tell you, the gas shortage story in the seventies was good, but this greenhouse think is pure genius!'

"Begging or stealing are better options than borrowing right now."

'Why are more homeowners walking away from their mortgages?'

"Yes, we can assist with upside-down mortgages!"

Student Loans - 'Not you again.'

"Wow. This sucks."

'Forget his mother. He wants to talk to an agent about selling his story!'

How To Profit From An Economic Collapse

'Your proposal is innovative but threatens the status quo and therefore, my job. I'm shelving it until I retire.'