Credit Sleuth T-Shirts

"I see you've listed as three credit references your three bali bondsmen."

British savings accounts

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

"So much for password protected."

Clickbait

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

'Today, the market did the 'Ol' Dipsy, but recovered in the 'Doodle'.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'Whoever stole your credit card is spending a lot less with it than you did!'

'Gimme all your cache!'

'Oh my God! You look like you've see the FTSE.'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Have you seen my money?

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

"Our stock is down. Start some rumors on Wall Street that it's going up."

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

'This morning a rumor that we would buy the Arpex Corp drove our stock up $3. Around noon a rumor that Arpex would buy us drove it up another $3. And in the afternoon a rumor that wo have nothing to do with Arpex drove it up $3 more.'

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

"We're going to need the best forensic accountants money can buy."

What security flaw?

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

"I'm trimming the fat around here, Bailey, and I'd like to see you lose $75 per week"

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

'Always bought low.'

"Nice try, Mr. Willis, but it won't make any difference."