Credit Card Tactician Gifts

'I'd like to apply for a credit card. . . I'm tired of my cheques bouncing.'

The president's men

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

"That was a rumor day."

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

"Today workers in socialistic economies sought private sector solutions. Workers in predominantly private sector economies want more socialism."

Osbourne plans for another 'Giveaway' Budget

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...

"Tell us again — a little less graphic."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'You can buy low and sell high, but they still tax you right down the middle!'

'I didn't make any money last year because you destroyed my incentive the year before.'

'There's no interest on your purchase for a year. Then we become VERY interested in your balance after that.'

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

'Why don't we do what we always do when sales lag, write 'New and improved' on the box...'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

"He's hit, and he's hurt. Now we'll follow his audit trial and finish him off."

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"

'Bonds dropped on news that interest rates might rise... stocks dropped on news that taxes might rise...'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

Gentlemen, recall, it's our people that make this company profitable; especially the ones that come up with loose interpretations of tax and securities laws.'

"Buy on the dip, ignore the blip, and sell before the bubble bursts."