Credit Card Rewards Gifts

"Use the platinum card—I need the miles."

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

Thank you for calling airline miles Visa, Mr. Taylor. How can I help you today. I'd like to book ma flight. No problem. I see you've accrued 40,000 points on your Visa - enough to travel anywhere in the U.S. on a Thursday. Thursday? Right. Any Thursday in May. The other days and months are blacked out. Of course, then I have a similar policy. Pardon? Ahem. I will only use my awards card on Thursdays in May. The rest of the days and months are blacked out! You understand you can't win. Somehow I'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

"Your Amex rare earth elements card, that will do nicely sir!"

Secret Identity Theft.

'Denied?...but it's my last one.'

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."

'I know money can't buy happiness. That's why I use credit cards.'

'She's just like her mother. Her first word was the name of our credit card.'

'Isn't it how you learnt to swim?'

'Me too-thought I'd better splash out before my plastic expires tomorrow!'

"Wow, you've got tons of loyalty points. Someone's a good boy!"

We Honor Major Credit Cards and Most Dietary Restrictions

If you apply for my credit card, you can earn points toward your next guilt trip.

'Can I have a new credit card please - this one's full up!'

Modern Monster

What do you have in mind? Something for nothing!

"Be proud of me..I'm strengthening your credit rating."

"Two years at home Son, and all you've earned is points on my credit card."

'Money can't buy everything... that's what credit cards are for!'

Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip.

'Credit card customer of the month'

'My wife's left me for a man with more Nectar points...'