Credit Card Jester Gifts

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

'I want to leave all my credit cards to my wife.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

Why markets crash.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'Wait a minute....!

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

"Of course we're not in a recession. No one has even jumped out of a window."

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

"Just to be on the safe side, I'd like to start an aggressive course of billing you."

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'Can you check my balance.'

In case of stock market crash break glass.