Credit Card Guru Gifts

"Due to your lack of discipline and disregard to your credit limit...."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Too bad Desmond had never learned to recognize the early warning signs of a heart attack.

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

"Pot of gold?! Nobody uses cash these days! Do you fancy a couple of gift cards?"

'There's no interest on your purchase for a year. Then we become VERY interested in your balance after that.'

'Denied?...but it's my last one.'

'Sales are down. We tried to make the latest version, of our best selling software, foolproof. Apparently, someone was making better fools.'

'I know money can't buy happiness. That's why I use credit cards.'

'She's just like her mother. Her first word was the name of our credit card.'

The Crippled Euro

'Watch their pounds' Venn Diagram

We Honor Major Credit Cards and Most Dietary Restrictions

Get Well cards. They're constantly coming up with new get well cards, but nothing sells as well as the one that makes it clear the sender had the same thing and worse.

'Here, check it by processing my bill.'

Modern Monster

'Can I have a new credit card please - this one's full up!'

'Remember how we used to put stuff on layaway?'

What do you have in mind? Something for nothing!

"I won't know if it's a vacation till I see if they accept my miles."

"Two years at home Son, and all you've earned is points on my credit card."

'Money can't buy everything... that's what credit cards are for!'

"You'd think a Humanities professor would be more lenient in her grading."

'I would advise against expansion.'

"Be proud of me..I'm strengthening your credit rating."

"I'm the ghost of christmas past due."

'The good news is, profits are up 74%, the bad news is, we don't know why.'

Your Flexible Fiend.