Credit Card Executive Gifts

'Our founder!' (A Viking)

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

Downsizing.

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'

Oh no ... Outsourcing

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."

"Why does it always have to represent something?"

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

'After months of analysing, we found out how to stop your downgoing profits: just find more customers who want to buy your products.'

'No wonder we're losing money! --This organizational chart is upside down!'

'We believe in having a very specialised team. Watkins here for example provides all our human error.'

'We do a little hiring and a little firing, and between you and me, I enjoy the firing more.'

Financial landscape.

'The incorporation of the name of Cit-Bolon-Turn the God of Healing into your logo will resonate with everyone who has even the faintest knowledge of Mayan religious nomenclature!'