Credential Collectors Gifts

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

"Make a lot of money."

Interdisciplinary studies.

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"I started a collection!"

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'School of hard knocks.'

Graduate

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

'Ok, give me your username & password one more time.'

'He's just come back from another management training course.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

'Well, do you want to sign up or not?' - 'Um...yes and no.'

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

No room to hang his diploma.

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

Florida Golf.

Time traveller of the year, 3173, A.D.

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

Beer Sergeant.

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

"I'm sorry your password needs to include upper & lower case letters & at least one number."

More Education Needed

'The LACK of a resume indicates that I don't need one.'

"He thinks he's so smart with his 360 degrees!"