Creative Sibling Pillows

Mock Apple Pie Recipe

'My right brain isn't working.'

Francis Bacon

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bond James, Bond."

Grace For Flies

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Wildlife

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Santa Claus's Mail

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"First class, or with children?"

Late night teddy reading

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"She's been so creative lately."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

Gifts for a cloned baby!

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'