Creative Interviewing Gifts

"Wow, I've never heard of a karaoke resume before!"

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

I'm a self-made man!

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."