Creative Interviewing Pillows

"Wow, I've never heard of a karaoke resume before!"

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

I'm a self-made man!

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"Bob doesn't do well in job interviews, so he hired me. I'm a professional actor who specializes in these situations."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."