Creative Executive Gifts

R&D - Relax & Doodle

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Welcome to the future"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'