Creative Executive Gifts

R&D - Relax & Doodle

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Welcome to the future"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'That's our mission statement.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"