Crafty Couple Comedy Pillows

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Stand-up Romcom

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

Two lovers sitting on a bobbin

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

Outlaw Quilting Bees

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

"I want to make it with you."

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

"You have your emotional support animal and I have mine."

"OK - I'll say it again - I love you even more than my p******* hour."

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"Sorry. No refunds."

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

"I'll start dancing like Fred Astaire, when you stop dancing like Nellie the Elephant!"

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

"I hope you like it. I made it myself."

"I can write my name in the snow. I bet you can't do that."

'That's it! The lost chord!'

'I'm gonna go slip into something less comfortable.'

'And they lived happily ever after - well beyond their means.'

'I see the glass as half-full. Whereas he sees the glass and blames me for the naked man hiding in the closet.'