Crafty Chef Gifts

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

Counting ribs

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Children's Feast.

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

Bangers and Mash

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

GMOs: The Next Generation

Better Not Squash.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

Baloneystini

All-Candy Seder.

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

Stupid Microwave

Quartet of chefs.

Tzatzikicicle

Cook in the cookery section.

Amy Sedaris

Picasso

I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.

Sushi Train Set.

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"What already?! You're the one who told me I needed professional help."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

Cooking With Pollock.

Artichoking victim

'What the devil is that?

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.