Crafting Mishap Manager Pillows

"I need something to dissolve superglue that will be safe on tulle and cat fur, and that's all the information I'm prepared to offer at this time."

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Toddler Feeding Solutions

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

The Quotable Ben Franklin. To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals. And not flying thy kite during thunderstorms might help, too!

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'...and this is the Mess.'

'We'll just blame it on the fish.'

"|For some reason, the boss is obsessed with my screen."

"That's the last time I invite the boys round..."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'OK, what's the first thing we need to capture in our Job Safety Analysis?' 'Don't tick off TINY!'

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

"You give Sticky Keys a new meaning."

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'When an outboard goes overboard'

No, I seriously doubt a DNA test would exonerate you.

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

DIY expert.

Why children, apples and honey should not be left unsupervised.

'The cat did it.'

Happy Birthday MUM!

"It was my imaginary friend Gravity."

'Morning. I'm your new health and safety officer.'

An occassional clean out should prevent unpleasant smells.

"After viewing the video footage, it wasn't the dog making the mess, after all..."

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

"Dude, you gotta get out here and clean this pool more often."

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'I'm wearing a bump cap and a hard hat. I like to be ready for any situation.'

Cluster Catastrophe

"Boss, the cleaning lady is here with her leaf blower to tidy up your office."